PassRugby
O termo ‘gaslighting’ tornou-se cada vez mais comum nos últimos tempos, mas muitas pessoas não sabem exatamente o que é.
O psiquiatra forense Dr. Sohom Das, de Londresque dirige um YouTube canal chamado Um psicólogo para mentes doloridas descreveu a iluminação a gás em um vídeo – além de abordar cinco mitos sobre ela.
Ele começou o vídeo descrevendo o que é gaslighting, dizendo: '[It] é uma forma de abuso emocional que resulta da manipulação de alguém para questionar sua própria sanidade, suas próprias memórias ou sua percepção da realidade.
“É uma tentativa deliberada de minar o senso de confiança de alguém em si mesmo e em suas experiências. Então você pode pensar nisso como uma forma secreta de controle e dominação.'
Ele explicou que uma forma evidente de controle poderia ser alguém controlando as finanças de alguém ou sendo violento.
Dr Sohom Das (foto) desmascarou cinco mitos sobre o gaslighting em um vídeo em seu canal no YouTube A Psych for Sore Minds
Mas, explicou o Dr. Das, como um tipo de controle secreto, o gaslighting não é assim, é feito tão sutilmente que a vítima começa a duvidar de si mesma.
Ele continuou: “O primeiro aspecto fundamental da iluminação a gás é sobre poder e controle – esse é o ponto principal. Trata-se de obter domínio sobre a vítima e fazê-la duvidar de si mesma.
'E, como eu disse antes, o principal diferencial de outras formas de manipulação é que ela é sutil. Está fora do radar.
O segundo aspecto do gaslighting são as táticas de manipulação, disse o Dr. Das, explicando que “os gaslighting usam várias táticas específicas como negação, desvio, banalização e mentira para criar uma sensação de confusão”.
O impacto a longo prazo é que isto faz com que a vítima se sinta ansiosa, deprimida, isolada e retraída.
“Eles podem até começar a questionar o seu próprio julgamento”, continuou ele.
Listando algumas táticas que os gaslighters usam e as frases que usam para fazer isso, ele disse: “A frase número um está relacionada à negação. [For example, a gaslighter will say, “what you never said that”, even though you did. They deny it ever happened.’
The next phrases he listed were related to trivialisation, and include a gaslighter saying things like ‘ok princess, calm down, you’re overreacting, it’s really not that big a deal’.
While many people believe that gaslighting only happens in romantic relationships, it can happen in many different scenarios
Shifting blame was the third tactic he listed, which can be expressed through phrases like ‘you’re such a snowflake, if you weren’t so sensitive, this wouldn’t be a problem’.
The fourth tactic used by gaslighters is playing the victim, by portraying themselves as the victim, and the victim as the abuser.
He then started to list five common myths about gaslighting, and explained why they are not true.
1. Gaslighting only happens in romantic relationships
According to Dr Das: ‘Gaslighting can occur in other kind of dynamics. It could be a parent-child relationship, it could be a friendship, it even could be a co-worker dynamic, or within a cult setting.’
He explained that gaslighting is not just about romance, it’s about power and control, and so it can happen in many different scenarios.
2. It’s a good idea to confront your gaslighter directly
According to Dr Das: ‘Obviously, there are going to be some situations with gaslighting where you can’t cut ties with the individual.
‘So if it’s say, your parent or your sibling, you probably can’t move away from that situation. Other times might be easier. If it’s a new romantic relationship, you can probably cut ties.
‘So if possible, the healthiest thing to do is to remove yourself from the situation, to prioritise your own well being and your own mental health.’
3. Gaslighting is always intentional
With some gaslighters, Dr Das said it ‘absolutely’ is very deliberate.
‘But in other cases,’ he explained, ‘they won’t even realise they’re doing it, a bit like you grinding your teeth at night.’
He continued: ‘So how do they not realise? Well, they might have learned these manipulative tasks from their own upbringing. Sometimes, it’s so ingrained that they do it on autopilot. It becomes automatic.’
This could be because they are ‘literally modelling what they learned from when they were younger’, he said, while sometimes it’s because ‘they think of every relationship as needing to have a dynamic’.
4. Only people with low intelligence can be gaslighted
‘Anybody, in actuality, is susceptible to gaslighting,’ said Dr Das.
‘So it’s nothing to do with intelligence. It’s more about how much they care about the gaslighter’s opinion.
‘That can be related to low self esteem, but equally, it can be related to high levels of empathy, actually just being a nice person, or you could genuinely love that person, or you could have been emotionally dependent on them, either now or in the past.’
Dr Sohom Das (pictured) is a London-based forensic psychiatrist who also makes YouTube content on his channel A Psych for Sore Minds
5. Gaslighting is a modern phenomenon
‘Mankind has been playing mind games with each other since the dawn of time,’ said the psychiatrist.
He explained that while the term ‘gaslighting’ came into our lexicon fairly recently, it has existed for as long as humans have interacted with each other.
Dr Das explained the origins of the word, saying: ‘It originated from a 1938 British stage play by Patrick Hamilton which was titled Gaslight.
‘The play tells the story of a husband who manipulates into his own wife into thinking that she’s going crazy by dimming the gas light in their house and then denying it when she confronts him….[this] deixa a esposa questionando sua própria sanidade e sua própria percepção da realidade.
Dr Sohom Das pode ser encontrado em Twitter, Instagrame TikTokbem como YouTube.
